Happy mama happy child! my secret to a happy family
Before the arrival of my bundle of joy, I was certain I could have well, everything. A wonderful relationship with my husband, a great career, continued closeness with my most intimate friends and probably win mother of the year award because I was going to rock the whole motherhood thing.
Armed with a mountain of enthusiasm, belief that I could figure it all out along the way and a stubborn nature that sometimes serves me well-and sometimes not so much, I set out to live the happily-ever-after that my childhood had promised was mine for the taking. Let's just say things didn't go exactly as expected! I like everyone else have stories, some happy, some sad, some hopeful, some devastating but all life changing in some way.
I won't bore you with details I will instead try to recap what the past humble years of motherhood or more simply life and its many lessons have taught me personally. For all of you mothers out there, I hope that my one simple piece of advice might help you find your peace with more ease. My truth, as I now refer to it, did not come quickly or easily, I spent years fighting it and saying yes to anything and everything that was asked of me. I mean I still do. How could I refuse? To do so meant I could not handle it all, a message I was not ready to admit to myself let alone the world at large.
Let's be honest for a minute, as much as we would like to believe that we can have it all deep down we don't really believe it. It's simply not humanly possible and our very attempt to gain this elusive prize sets us up for failure. It doesn't matter if you are a full time professional, work part time or elect to stay at home we all experience some degree of the dreaded Mama Guilt!
We somehow feel that no matter how much time we spend with our children, how much we give to them or how involved we are in their lives that it is never sufficient. There is always that nagging voice in the back of our minds questioning; am I doing enough?
This self-doubt and strong desire to do it all and do it fabulously results in less and less "me" time as we guiltily give up the things we once enjoyed doing for ourselves. Each time we choose to forego that special lunch with an old friend or 30 minutes of yoga, some special time with the husband, we lose a little bit of who we are.
Are we sacrificing for all the right reasons? Absolutely! But in the end we all pay for these selfless decisions. If we can't be the best possible us while raising our children we are not doing enough for them. Be honest with yourself and then make the time to experience true happiness. This will mean different things for each of us but it is essential that we are honest about what we need to feel truly fulfilled. We deserve nothing less. Search it out, pursue it and hold onto it with both hands it is the best gift you can give yourself and your family.
Your new mantra needs to be if I feel happy my family and others around me will also feel happy. The sense of contentment you find will amaze you!